Katy Perry Manifests Justin Trudeau “Epic” Relationship With Help Of Therapist

ATY PERRY’S THERAPIST IS A FAIRY GODMOTHER!

Remember when Katy Perry was endlessly blubbing down under after finally kicking Legolas to the curb? Well, dry those eyes, Katy-cats, because the universe (and a very expensive shrink) has provided.

Katy has done a big PR dump with People magazine to tell the world that her romance with former Canadian PM / professional hair-swisher Justin Trudeau wasn’t just a random Montreal hook-up—it was manifested.

According to Ms Perry, she was sitting on her shrink’s couch whimpering about how everything in her life was completely “epic”, except for the minor detail that she lacked a “legendary love”. Her exact words?

“Everything in my life is epic, but this is kind of the missing puzzle piece—then it showed up.”

And by “showed up”, she means a 54-year-old politician with a freshly minted divorce decree and a penchant for wearing backwards baseball caps at pop concerts.

Katy even pulled out her trusty manifestation diary to prove it to the reporter, pointing at item No. 10 on her wishlist: “True Love”.

Naturally, JT has stepped up to the plate with terrifying enthusiasm. Not only has he dutifully tagged along to ten separate dates of her tour like a starstruck teen, but Katy claims he gazes at her in total “awe” and knows every single word to her songs. (Can you picture Justin softly crooning the lyrics to Roar in a backstage VIP tent while holding Katy’s organic kombucha? Because we certainly can.)

She says the whole thing has been “super healing” after her nine-year saga with Orlando Bloom ran its course.

So there you have it. Manifestation works! Which begs the question… who do we need to speak to in order to manifest an ex-world leader to follow us around singing along to our Spotify playlists?

BLIND ITEM: Which pop princess is allegedly driving her team up the wall by insisting her new statesman beau gets top-tier VIP treatment that would make royalty blush? Word reaches us that tour crew were given strict instructions never to bring up “Canadian politics, socks, or high-definition camera lenses” in his presence…

FXCKING & PUNCHING

• Orlando Bloom: Out. (Learning “important relationship lessons”, apparently).

• Justin Trudeau: In. (Currently learning the choreography to Californian Gurls).

• Katy’s Therapist: Winner of the week. Give that person a raise.