Kim and Kanye Back Together Again, At Last, To See 13-Year-Old Daughter’s First Concert

Expect the strict “opposite side of the auditorium” protocol to be standard operating procedure for the foreseeable future. Sources close to the circus report that while Kim and Ye are maintaining a fragile, highly calculated co-parenting peace purely to launch 13-year-old North’s rage-emo musical career, their actual interactions remain strictly transactional.

Insiders predict the true test will come when North announces her first proper stadium tour. “Kim’s team is already measuring up potential VIP suites to guarantee zero risk of an accidental hallway run-in,” whispers a Calabasas spy. “Ye, meanwhile, is apparently lobbying to oversee North’s stage production—which Kim is terrified will end up involving levitating platforms, choir robes, and three-hour delays.”

And what about the rest of the brood? Ten-year-old Saint is reportedly plotting his own escape from the family narrative, having expressed zero interest in music, reality TV, or shapewear—much to Kim’s quiet despair…